We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Stairway to Divorce (The Nutcracker Sweet)

by Phineas Gauge

/

about

Written during a post girlfriend post influenza malaise.

lyrics

Hmmm, So you finally met your dream girl. Shit is fucking awesome! So crazy for each other. So you buy a house together, but then.. the puppy love starts to fade. So you must replace it quickly ..with a puppy.. or if you're more trailer park, perhaps a mutually dependent drug habit. Anyway she loves cinnamon more than anything, the dog not the spice, but you're quickly becoming the bad guy, so this leads us to the next logical step where you either buy another fucking Toto to buy time, or she pops out a kid. Life is getting busy now, there are many distractions and responsibilities. The two of you have become so entwined by now that it feels near impossible for her to bail on you, but, now she sees flaws that were always there, naked and flapping in the daylight. The blind sickness of infatuation, is fully dissolved and you are officially the anti-christ. You saw her flaws all along but, chose to accept them as necessary evils. Nobody's perfect right? Now it's a painful divorce, where she has to oh so painfully adapt to a new way of life, a new routine, a whole new boyfriend, chosen from the den of wolves that has been trailing her since the dawn of time. The next lucky mongrel will either rinse and repeat like the instructions for a relationship shampoo, or be abusive enough to convince her that she better not try the old dee-vorce again. Maybe they shit-talk each other til they're both too exhausted to make another move. But that's a more, mature relationship. After the divorce, if you feel like your heart was torn out of your chest, that's completely normal. If you can't date for a year due to emotional trauma, that's normal too. Don't beat yourself up too much over this, cause you only did everything you could, and she was unhappy! If you're lucky or only moderately intelligent, you may adopt an eye for an eye technique of calling out her flaws, this makes you less of a nice guy and increases your odds of a successful 'miserable marriage maintenance.'
Stay inside the lines,
Cultivate healthy minds x6
Let's face it, nice guys don't finish last, they just don't finish. They're far too accepting of their spouse acting like a toddler, usually in hopes that she figures out her shitty behaviour without having to shove her nose in it. Alas this quickly leads to all sorts of side effects, including 'Fuck Boys'. Watch out nice guys! Distract her with another kid! Or alternately you can join an ashram that's celibate with the name Lexi tattooed on your forefinger. Those are the only two options for nice guys. Guess I'll just sit back and wait for the royalties to come in, from this awesome song....for my Lexi tattoo.

credits

released October 4, 2021
j.horricks
sonic wizard - additional mixing

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Phineas Gauge image

Phineas Gauge Thunder Bay, Ontario

........................ A Little something about Phineas Gauge..............................


Phineas Gauge began: as one man’s creative endeavour, a pseudonym, a gestalt of ideals within a vision, an imagination; like an albino octopus sprouting new arms, still growing ever stronger, more diverse. ... more

contact / help

Contact Phineas Gauge

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

If you like Phineas Gauge, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Featured guests are the golden-voiced Baby Rose and psyche soulsters Brainstory.
listen now